Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Retardead (2008)

   Butte County,California's Sheriff's Department is hard at work trying to capture a serial masturbator who's been terrorizing the townspeople.Their problems get worse when the town's, thought to be dead, mad scientist Dr. Stern returns posing as special education teacher Dr. Feldman.
   Deputies Rick (Rick Popko) and Dan (Dan West) have their hands full trying to catch "the weenie wagger" but are close to discovering his identity because of a DNA sample he left on a window while peeping (never mind that he can be easily recognized through the white panty hose he wears on his head). Meanwhile, missing mad scientist Dr. Stern has just resurfaced with his new identity, Dr. Feldman, and has gotten a job at the town's special education school. Dr. Stern/Feldman (Dan Burr) has developed an intelligence serum and plans to experiment on the students.Stern/Feldman's serum does make the students smarter, but eventually turns them into some of the most ridiculous zombies I've ever seen.Stern/Feldman locks the zombie students in the basement of the school and the janitor Herbert, soon to be known as the weenie wagger, discovers them and recognizes Stern.Deputies Rick and Dan have just gotten the DNA results implicating Herbert (Billy Borrelli) and show up to arrest him just as he's running out of the school terrified by what he just witnessed.The deputies give him a Rodney King style beating and take him into the station.
   Stern/Feldman's students escape and start using Butte County as their own personal buffet and spread the virus that has mutated from his serum.Of course the military is soon sent in and the town is quarantined.Sheriff Duncan (Paul Weiner),Stern,Rick,Dan,Herbert,and F.B.I. agent Susan (Beth West) plan to lure all of the zombies to the county morgue to make it easier to destroy them all at once.The group draws matches to determine who will be the bait that lures the zombies and Rick loses when he draws the longest match.Dan gets the second longest match and has to assist Rick.Stern/Feldman's idea for attracting the zombies is to make a "meat suit"  so he he removes the organs from a dead body and Rick and Dan stand there holding buckets full of organs and throwing up the entire time.Rick donned in the meat suit and Dan, wearing a finger necklace he made to make Rick feel better about being the one who has to wear the meat suit,head out to exact their plan.The brilliant plan works and the zombies follow them to the morgue where the survivors unload all of their ammunition on the horde, killing them all, only to hear a news broadcast seconds later reporting that it was only a forty-eight hour virus.
   Retardead was filled with intentional bad acting and over the top gore.There were quite a few laughs and I found it entertaining.Although I'm sure it was probably intended, the zombies were terrible.Blue skin was pretty much the extent of their makeup effects.Overall I liked Retardead, it wasn't the best movie I've ever seen, but it definitely wasn't the worst (hhm...hhm...Johnny Sunshine). At least it was good for a few laughs.I think my favorite part was when they were killing the zombies at the morgue and Herbert, who was armed with a chainsaw, got killed when it came unplugged right in time with everyone else running out of ammunition (Really?He had plenty of time to plug it back into the extension cord !Wait, are chainsaws usually even electric?). Anyway,Netflix rated Retardead 2 out of 5 stars and I'll agree with that.

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